The Lost Art Of Community
I think one of the quietest losses in modern life has been the slow loss of community. Not just being surrounded by people, but truly knowing and being known. Feeling connected to the places we live and the people around us. Feeling woven into something beyond ourselves. There is such a need for this and it seems like society is moving farther and farther away from supporting it. Even just within the last 5-10 years I’ve noticed that it has felt like life became incredibly convenient, yet somehow more lonely if connection was not something you were being intentional about.
We can have groceries delivered to our doorstep (ok, but, grateful for this with two little ones, lol) , stream endless entertainment, order almost anything we want within seconds, and spend entire days consuming content without ever truly interacting with another person in a meaningful way. I’ll be the first to admit, that while convenience itself is not bad.. I do think many of us are beginning to feel the ache of what has quietly disappeared in the process.
We were never meant to live isolated lives. Just reflect back to our ancestors! We were meant to gather around tables, to borrow things from neighbors, to bring meals after babies are born, to know and help the people living beside us, or to have homes where people feel welcome enough to stop by unannounced. I think many of us deeply crave this kind of life, even if it’s not something we clearly communicate.
Lately, especially during this postpartum season, I’ve realized how easy it is to unintentionally become a consumer. Consuming content instead of creating conversation. Consuming entertainment instead of nurturing relationships. Consuming products instead of learning to make, share, repair, or resourcefully use what we already have.
I pray that our children go against that grain. It’s something that I think about all of the time, actually. I was so fortunate to grow up in a family where this was prioritized. Less T.V. and more time outside. From a young age we were contributing or learning in some way, or we were watching both of our parents do that both in our family and our community. That is truly the goal for our kiddos!
I think back to when my husband and I went to The Homestead Conference in Waco a few years back. There was a specific speaker I wanted to listen to about soil health and afterward I walked over to buy one of his books. There, I found his two children, they couldn't have been more than 10 years old. They were proudly running the booth and selling little wooden toy sets that they made with their own hands. There was something about that moment that stayed with me, as I had a one year old at the time and deeply hoped he would too have that drive and independence. I think it also stuck with me because it was such a sweet example of the whole family participating. Contributing. Creating something together that blessed other people instead of simply consuming what the world offered them. I remember walking away thinking, this feels like something that we’ve lost.
Emotionally, I think many of us spend so much time taking in everyone else’s thoughts, opinions, routines, and lives that we rarely slow down long enough to truly invest in our own communities. (insert social media, here) Even just unintentionally or subconsciously. Maybe that is part of why so many people feel disconnected? Community can’t exist if everyone is only consuming.. It requires contribution! It requires people willing to show up for one another in ordinary, even sometimes inconvenient ways.
The older I get, the more I think community is less about finding the perfect people and more about becoming the kind of person who contributes warmth to the lives around them. Someone who is willing to love their community well and someone who is willing to participate. I wonder if this is why so many of us sometimes feel restless despite having more than previous generations could ever imagine?
I truly believe that the lost art of community isn’t actually gone. I think it begins again in small homes, around simple tables, with ordinary people deciding to care for one another well.
If you are feeling like you are lacking in community and are wanting to be part of a village, I encourage you to start building your own. Even if it isn’t something you grew up with or have had an example of, it is ALWAYS available to you if you put in the work.
